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[personal profile] lunschen
Title: The emptiness inside me
Author: Lunschen
Beta: hughville, Thank you so much Laura for your wonderful work!!!
Rating: M
Pairings: Hameron (mentions of House/Cuddy, Cameron/Chase)
Summary: Cameron feels empty inside. Can she be saved?
Author note: Chapter 11
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

The days went by and still no sign from Cameron. House was frustrated as hell. He would never freely admit that he was worried; instead he kept thinking that Cameron´s reaction was an interesting anomaly and because of this he couldn´t get her out of his head.

He caught himself driving to her place after work, only to sit in his car and watch her dark apartment from outside. His birch was still standing proud on her terrace. Thousands of possibilities ran through his head: Was she working the whole time? Was she with someone else now? Maybe still with Chase? Maybe she had an accident or was even.... No, he wouldn’t think something bad like that. Instead he kept telling himself that she was just working and trying to ignore him. He was sure she tried to forget him. After all this was Cameron; HIS girl; the one with a crush on him and this was one of the things that would never change. Never.

One night he couldn´t take it anymore and took his handy iPhone and sent her a text.

"Cameron, call me. We really need to talk. Please." He cringed inside while sending it away. He knew that was not a typical "Housian-sms" but he really wanted to know what was going on and so he tried to be as nice as possible and this little word "please" wasn´t even as hurtful as he thought it might been.

Meanwhile Cuddy was sitting at Cameron’s bedside thinking about her next move when Cameron’s cell phone rang. Without even thinking twice she took the phone and read the message. Her heart was beating faster and her head was spinning. This wasn´t true, was it? Why was House doing this? Why would he choose a junkie over her? Why was he too stubborn to see that they belonged together?

Tears of anger began pooling in her eyes as she started to write a response.
"House, stop bothering me! I am over you! Leave me alone. Allison." By sending the text, she hoped that House would stop writing now. It was the best for him. She just knew it!

Her vision was blurry. Pictures were swimming in front of her eyes again but she just couldn´t see them clearly, She tried. She really did but it wouldn´t work and then they were gone; replaced by a white light. Was it the sun? Was she dead? Then suddenly voices could be heard; female ones. One familiar and one she never heard before. She could only hear them but she couldn´t understood a word. It was too much, the light, the voices. She didn´t want to deal with them and so she tried to sleep again drifting away from everything around her.

The next time she woke up no voices were heard just the beeping of some machines. Was this her heartbeat? Was she alive and in the hospital? What the hell happened? Too many questions to deal with but she knew she would have to, sooner or later. Opening her eyes hurt because of the light. It took some minutes until she could adjust to the light but then Allison Cameron opened her eyes and looked around. She was right. This was really a hospital and she was a patient. But why? What happened?

"Welcome back again, Dr. Cameron!" There was that familiar voice again. This time Cameron recognized it immediately - Dr. Lisa Cuddy, her former boss.

"Dr. Cuddy? Why am I here? What happened?" She looked around. Something was wrong. Something horrible happened but she had no idea what. Just a bad feeling was bothering her.

"Oh, you don´t remember, Allison? Well, let me help you. You were found about 10 days ago, unconscious in the forest. That´s what happened."
Lisa’s wannabe nice smile just felt wrong. There was more and Cameron needed to know what it was. NOW.

"Ahm, in the forest? Did I have an accident? Did I fall or something?"

Cuddy’s smile grew even wider and she responded with her most fake and sweet voice: "An accident? Hell, no! You were high as a kit, my dear. Your blood seemed to consist just of cocaine and alcohol. That´s not an accident, that´s suicide!"

Allison felt dizzy again. Suicide? Could this really be? She closed her eyes, trying to remember what happened and not noticing Cuddy silently leaving the room. The last thing she remembered was the stupid fundraiser and House. Of course House, it´s always House. But what happened afterwards? Cameron tried hard to remember but the harder she tried the less she knew. Her body was still exhausted and it didn´t take long until she drifted back to sleep.

She found herself in her living room again- dancing, laughing and high. The music ended as fast as it began and the room was spinning. There she was again but not laughing anymore. Now she was screaming for help, laying on the floor and making her fatal decision....

Allison woke up immediately. She sat straight up in bed, her body sweaty and her eyes wide open, showing the shock she felt inside her. She wanted to scream but no sound came out. Inside hot tears were invading her cheeks.

"Shh, it´s okay Allison. I´m here!" She felt a hand on her back, stroking her soothingly. Cameron turned around, looking straight into Wilson’s eyes.

"Oh my god Wilson, what have I done? I am sorry, so sorry!" Now it was just too much. She couldn´t control herself anymore. Her body was shaking and she sobbed loudly into Wilson’s chest when the door burst open and Cuddy walked into the room with two male nurses behind her.

Her voice was emotionless when she spoke. "Oh, please Cameron! It´s too late to cry now. It´s your own fault that you´re here but don´t worry, everything is arranged."

Wilson looked angry and Cameron shocked: "What do you mean? What is arranged?"

"Your stay at Maysfield, of course! You don´t really believe I would send you home like that. You’re a threat to yourself and others. Believe me, it´s better that way."

"Please, don´t do this", Cameron´s voice was full of desperation now. "Please! I will take professional help from now on. I promise! But not there. I want to stay at home. My work and all..."

"Save the words. You´ve been committed and that´s my final word. Oh and don´t worry about your work. You were fired yesterday. A junkie can´t run a hospital. That´s a fact."

Giving the two nurses a short nod, they went to Allison’s bed and wheeled the helpless woman out of the room. Wilson was standing there, shocked and speechless. This all seemed so unreal, like a dream; a very bad dream and her screams would never leave him alone anymore; of that much he was certain. The picture in front of him was just horrible and it hurt him to no end. Cameron, still weak and tired, was crying, screaming, begging Cuddy to let her go, and promising to change, to get help. Her eyes full of tears, sending helpless looks to Wilson, begging him to help her, to not let her down, to give her a chance, a last chance. Being wheeled through the door, Allison took a last look over her shoulder and shouted one last time:

"Wilson, please tell House about this. Please, you have to, please!"

Then everything was silent, a scary and horrible silence; only broken by a widely grinning Cuddy: "Tell him and that will be your last sentence as a doctor. I promise!"

Watching her leave, Wilson couldn´t help but let his tears fall, feeling sick and helpless.
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April 2011

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